Toddler/ Preschooler Sleep

Are you ready for your toddler/ preschooler to start sleeping in so you can get some more sleep? Please refer below for some tips that worked for us to help our preschooler sleep longer or at least wait longer until he asked for us to get up in the morning.

Bedtime Routine Won't Stay in Bed Well Rested? Nap Time Discuss Wake-up Time Safe Independence End Note

Bedtime Routine
We continued using a bedtime routine like we did when my child was an infant. We generally have our son go to the bathroom on the potty, do a bath, brush his teeth, read a book, and also let him drink a glass of milk before bed. If he did drink milk after brushing his teeth we tried to have him re-brush or at least drink some water to rinse out his mouth.

We didn't have to stick to the schedule as exact as we tried when my son was an infant, he didn't necessarily need a bath to let him know bedtime was approaching, but he simply enjoyed getting a bath and so it was a nice activity to do after dinner to start to wind down before bed. We tried to have our son in bed by 8PM.
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Won't Stay in Bed
When we moved to our new home and our son transitioned to a big boy bed we started having our first bedtime problems. Before that it was fairly easy to get our son to bed. He use to go in his crib and put himself to sleep and now that he had the freedom to get in and out of his bed, he wouldn't stay in his room. We are currently working on trying various things, eating dinner earlier, making sure he naps earlier, then lying with him before bed, using a gate (which he just goes over or under to get out of the room), reading extra long stories, trying an earlier bedtime and also a later bedtime, and even taking him on a drive to calm him before bed. I've also started waking him up if he naps more than two hours and I try to not let him sleep past 4PM. I'll update with information once I determine what works best for us.
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Well Rested?
Does your child sleep better when he's well rested or overtired? It depends on who you ask and it probably depends on the child's temperament. In our experience our son has always slept best when he is well rested; when he has been sleeping well on previous nights and has adequate nap time during the day. Although most people our son's grandparents age always say, make sure you tire him out, he'll sleep better.

So do what works best for you, for us, the earlier we put our son to bed the easier he goes to sleep and the better he sleeps at night. Our son at almost 2 1/2 still needed a good nap (usually 2 -3 hour nap) and then he'd sleep around 10-11 hours each night. As our son approached 3 we started to have some nighttime issues which is a fairly common around developmental milestones. Please refer to the "Sleep Amount" article for more information on the average time a child sleeps.
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Nap Time
My son has always taken great naps. Around age 1 he started taking one longer nap and it varied from mid-morning to afternoon. On some days, he needed to take a nap before lunch but generally we did nap time after lunch. As my son approached 2 1/2 I again gradually tried to push his nap time later, closer to 2PM (from 12:30 - 1PM) as my son was starting preschool and I knew he wouldn't be able to have a nap until closer to 2PM on preschool days.

We continued our nap time routine of a few stories and then nap time. He would fuss when I first put him in his crib but soon as I close the door he would immediately lay down and go to sleep. My son generally would sleep 2 - 3 hours at nap time. Ever since I can remember he's woken up after the first hour, he use to cry out and then immediately go back to sleep. Now, he still may wake up and start to stir after an hour or so, but then he goes back to sleep. The key is I never go in and get him until I'm positive he's definitely not going to fall back asleep.

Until recently (my son is almost 3 years old) he could sleep until 6PM and still go to bed no problem. But since we are having various bedtime issues we stopped letting him take such long naps and try to make sure he gets up before 5PM. Waking him up is definitely a last resort, as it usually doesn't have a good outcome. Usually if he's still sleeping and it's been about two hours I'll go in turn on his light open all the blinds and usually shortly after that he'll wake up. That seems to work better than trying to wake him from a deep sleep.
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Discuss Wake-up Time
I remembered reading an article in a parenting magazine when my son was an infant about how when your child approached the age of two you may be able to start discussing the time he is allowed to wake up and/or come get you up in the morning. My son was always the type that it really didn't matter what time he went to bed the night before, he generally woke up between 6:30AM - 7:30AM. Then when he was 2 years 4 months old and he was very interested in numbers (he enjoyed counting to ten) we decided it was time to show him his clock and discuss what time he could wake up in the morning.

The first night we did it, Daddy came out and told me that he told our son to sleep until 10:30AM the next day. I laughed when I heard this and said, that is quite a stretch considering he normally wakes up between 6:30-7:30AM. But surprisingly the next morning he didn't call out for us until 10:30AM. The next night we told him to wake up at 9:30AM and the next night we said 8:30AM, 9:30AM, 7:30AM, ect and he repeatedly woke up within 5 - 10 minutes of the time we told him for a week straight. We aren't sure when he exactly woke up, i.e. if he woke up early and simply relaxed in his crib (as we were sleeping) all we know is that he would call out for us right around the requested time we had discussed the night before.

We would ask him, were you waiting until it was time to get up and he would say, "yes, clock" and point to his clock. I will be honest, I'm a little baffled at how this has worked especially since we changed the time on a daily basis as I didn't really think he could recognize all of the numbers on his clock yet. I'm not sure how he was doing it but it seems a little too much to be a coincidence for a week straight using various times.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend switching up the time everyday, I think it would be easiest to pick a standard time, say 8AM, and then you can focus on teaching your child what the number "8" looks like and ideally if you put your child goes to bed at that time you can show them on the clock the night before and say when you see this "8" again in the morning then you can wake Mommy/Daddy up. We were more doing an experiment as we thought it was so interesting that we kept changing the time and our son kept waking up within the 5-10 minutes of the time we discussed the night before.
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Safe Independence
You can also allow your child to have some independence and play in the morning before you are up if you feel they are mature enough and in a safe location (child proof area) where they are able to safely play without constant supervision. When I read the article about this I remember thinking there is no way I'd let my preschooler play in the morning while I was not constantly supervising him, but you really have to do what works for you and also what you think your child is ready for. It is amazing how much my baby boy has matured and I really think when we move him into his big boy bed once we move to our new home and give his crib to his baby sister I will let him have some unsupervised play in the morning.

I will probably gate off his room (although I'm not sure he will stay confined in his room) I will have to see how this works and continue on with the clock experiment. He may be given a time when he is allowed to get out of bed and then a time when he is allowed to come get Mommy up. Realistically, I will be up as I will be taking care of his baby sister.

You may even provide your child with a bowl of dry cereal, a cup of water, or some other small breakfast snack that they are allowed to eat while she is waiting for the time when she is allowed to wake you up in the morning.
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End Note
Remember that all children develop differently and only you will know when it is time to allow your child more independence and/or start discussing times when she is allowed to get up in the morning. It is your responsibility to make sure your child is safe and secure at all times. I wish you the best of luck to help your child sleep better and thus hopefully allow you some more sleep as well.
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Last updated: March 2011